EPISODE 3: DIVIDE & CONQUER

Following the mysterious murder of Hannah Pickering, her housemates have been conscripted by Arkham Police Detective Hardin to see if they can discover any leads.

 

Ex-Federal Agent Sam Spade heads the novice task force and together they travel to the site of Miss Pickering’s murder – a rural roadside near the city dump, where, not twelve hours prior, the discovery of her desecrated body shook a young police officer to his very core. Meanwhile, the crazed Bible salesman, Father Grandfather, has run off to conduct his own investigation and prove his mad theory… that it was a demon who struck the poor girl down.

Content Warning: Psychological trauma, assault, gore

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Full Transcript Below

Original score composed and performed by Ryan and Mike McQuinn of Neon Dolphin Music Design

CREDITS:

Written & Performed by:
Luke Stram – The Keeper
Doug Banks | Cap Blackard | Brandon Gerson | Kay | Ruel Knudson

 

Sound Design: Colin Peterson

Editing: Colin Peterson & Cap Blackard

Story Editing: Cap Blackard

Cast (In Order of Appearance):
Cap Blackard as The Narrator/ The Announcer

Cap Blackard as Dr. Muñoz

Kay as Deloras Delaney

Doug Banks as Hank O’Brien Jr.

Cap Blackard as Cyril Bridgewater

Ruel Knudson as Sam Spade

Brandon Gerson as Father Grandfather

Musical Spotlight: "Riot Tonight" by Hamptons

Original Score: Ryan McQuinn and Mike McQuinn
Neon Dolphin - Bandcamp

Series I Album Art by Tony Baldini
 

SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIALS:

  • Campaign: “Behold the Mother” from Dead Reckonings

  • Character sheets and profiles

TRANSCRIPT:

[Omniverse Audio Brand]

Announcer:
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Visit CthulhuMystery.com and head to Patreon.com/OmniverseMedia to join our community of fans and unlock further secrets.
 
[Intro Music]
 
Gruff Voice:
Do you hear that?
 
[SFX: Echoing wail.]
 
Gruff Voice:
In the cruel blackness of night, an unknowable evil from beyond time cries out! What dark deeds unfold on the streets of Arkham? And which unwitting souls, innocent or impure, will succumb to the maddening call? The call…of Cthulhu!
 
Announcer:
Top Hat Cigarettes bring you Part 3 of The Call of Cthulhu Mystery Program. Tonight’s strange story: “Divide and Conquer.”
 
If you find yourself at a crossroads when choosing a brand of cigarettes, why not pick the best dressed?  
 
Top Hat Cigarettes are flavorful and clean smoking—none of that peppery dust causing dry mouth and sore throat. After toasting, Top Hat Cigarettes undergo our unique cold ammonia process ensuring that every puff is a pleasure and keeps your lungs dapper as a dandy!
 
Just ask any doctor of medicine, or better still, ask Dr. Guédé Muñoz an expert in the field of virility and life extension who says:
 
Dr. Muñoz:
I prescribe all my patients take up smoking Top Hat Cigarettes. Their unique ammonia additive doesn’t just make for a cleaner smoking experience; it keeps their bodies youthful and virile, and their minds sharp. Plus, I love the taste. I could smoke two at a time! Sometimes I do!
 
Announcer:
Smoke to your health! And do it in style with Top Hat Cigarettes.
 
Narrator:
Following the mysterious murder of Hannah Pickering, her housemates have been conscripted by Arkham Police Detective Hardin to see if they can discover any leads. Ex-Federal Agent Sam Spade heads the novice task force and together they travel to the site of Miss Pickering’s murder: a rural roadside near the city dump, where not twelve hours prior, the discovery of her desecrated body shook a young police officer to his very core. Meanwhile, the crazed Bible salesman, Father Grandfather, has run off to conduct his own investigation and prove his mad theory that it was a demon who struck the poor girl down.
 
[SFX: Birds twittering.]
 
Keeper:
You guys are all hopping in the car—
 
[SFX: Car doors open.]
 
Keeper:
—Agent Spade’s getting driven out to the dump and the rest of you guys are swinging back—
 
Deloras Delany:
We were going to the morgue—
 
[SFX: Car doors slam shut.]
 
Keeper:
Okay.
 
Deloras Delaney:
—first and then we’re going to go to the address.
 
Keeper:
Okay, so you guys are just going to go to the morgue together, then.
 
[SFX: Car engine starting. Engine idling.]
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Hank and Spade are going to the dump.
 
Cyril Bridgewater:
And we’re going to the morgue and then going to the address to see the address.
 
Keeper:
Because the dump’s the furthest away because that’s, like, out of town. When you guys make your way out there—this is, you know, way out on the North side of the town (North Garrison Street is the street where they found her body)—as you guys drive out, you guys see the turnoff to go towards where the dump is. There’s a big oak tree kind of right near that fork and something scrawled on the oak tree. Looks like chalk. Outside of that, up the road a piece, not too far, is a farmhouse. That’s kind of what you see in the immediate area.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
I would like to try the chalk thing.
 
Keeper:
Okay. I mean, you guys can stop—
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
Is it just, like, a construction marker or is it something…?
 
Keeper:
Yeah, yeah. I mean, it basically looks like just a circle mark somebody’s kind of marked off with it. Looking kind of at the base of the tree area, this looks like this is probably the scene of the crime that they’ve been referring to. And that looks like probably why it’s marked off. You guys, I’m guessing, are just going to hop out, kind of take a quick look at it?
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If this is the starting point—
 
Keeper:
Okay.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
—we can get to working it while they’re at the morgue.
 
Keeper:
Okay, so they’re going to drop you guys—you two off—you guys can walk the rest of the way to the dump and then—
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
Yeah.
 
Keeper:
Okay.
 
Cyril Bridgewater [Out of Character]:
I want to roll for Occult here.
 

Keeper:
Okay.
 
Cyril Bridgewater [Out of Character]:
I got a 76, unfortunately, on my Occult. 26 because I know the Haitian voodoo rituals, often a tree is used as a crossroads if the chalk meant anything, but if it’s an indication of a crime scene, then I guess it’s nothing.
 
Keeper:
Yeah. You’re looking at it, you don’t get too much off of it. You figure it doesn’t look like a voodoo place in this case, but you’re not sure.
 
[SFX: Car engine starting.]
 
Cyril Bridgewater [Out of Character]:
Fair enough. Moving on.
 
Keeper:
Okay so the two of you guys drive back to town. Meanwhile, Hank Jr. and Agent Spade, you guys look over the crime scene.
 
[SFX: Flies buzzing.]
 
Sam Spade:
Yeah, I can start looking at the crime scene if you start looking around for tracks: where she came from, where she was going, if there’s other footsteps. You know what you’re looking for.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr.:
Let’s see what we see.
 
[Dice roll.]
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
30, and my Track is 50.
 
Keeper:
Well, you look around. You’re kind of paying attention to the ground particularly. After about a good twenty minutes of kind of, like, appraising the area, a lot of the area’s kind of disturbed because of where they came in and got the body and everything, but from what you can see, you see what were probably her tracks, which look erratic, coming to a rest where the main place has been disturbed, where her body is. Most of the other tracks that you see are coming from the roadside, which would probably be police, coroner, whatever. You don’t see any other tracks besides that.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Nothing weird other than that just sticks out?
 
Keeper:
No, you don’t seem to see anything.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Okay.
 
Keeper:
Both of you guys make either Occult, Anthropology, or History roll.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
Well, I got a 67 for my searching around. That was the Spot Hidden.
 
[Dice roll.]
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
86 for my Occult.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Failed! I don’t have anything in any of that.  
 
Keeper:
Okay. Well, I mean, you can always roll Luck. Get lucky, you know and if you—
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Okay, yeah, let’s roll for—
 
Keeper:
Oh, sorry, I mean, you know, just roll to get lucky.
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
I have—
 
Keeper:
So even stuff you have one percent in, you can sometimes succeed.
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
I have 99 in accounting. I don’t know what I’m going to use that for.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
So I just need to roll against my Luck?
 
Keeper:
Yeah.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Okay.
 
[Dice roll.]
 
Keeper:
See what you got there.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
75 out of a Luck of 80.
 
Keeper:
You don’t really see anything like that, but you’re kind of checking this place out and you think if anyone else was here, it might’ve been tracked over, but you got a sense that it’s—it really was only the cops, coroners, and everything.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Okay.
 
Keeper:
You don’t—
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
I don’t—I don’t get the sense that there was another party involved?
 
Keeper:
Not at all.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Okay. Well that’s weird.
 
Keeper:
And now—you don’t even see animal tracks.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Right. Okay.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
So this is out by the dump?
 
Keeper:
Yeah. You guys—
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
This is what they mean by “out by the dump?” Is this tree.

 

Keeper:
Yeah. Well, I mean, basically this tree’s out by the dump. The dump’s a little further up the road, if you guys wanted to go check it out.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
Check out the dump itself?
 
Keeper:
Yeah.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
Do the tracks give us any reason to go to the dump?
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Do the tracks come from there or was it, like—
 
Keeper:
No, no, no. She was kind of walking from Arkham.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Okay.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
Towards the dump?
 
Keeper:
Potentially. I mean, she’s just a little shy of it. If the dump is north of town, and there’s this main road coming out of it, she died just before the turnoff into where the dump would be.
 
Sam Spade [to Hank O’Brien Jr.]:
Can you retrace her steps as if she was actually walking? Like, he could actually step in her steps—
 
Keeper:
Okay.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
How does it look like she’s walking?
 
Keeper:
Well, the two of you guys kind of work on this for awhile. What you’re getting a sense of is her trail seems to have been coming from Arkham to the south. Occasionally, you lose it because she walks off into the street which is—corroborates the story of the people that had seen her last night around eleven or so. Basically, from what you guys can see—I mean, you guys lose track of it after awhile because of her wandering on and off the blacktop, but she had just been wandering erratically north.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
So she wasn’t heading towards the dump or any particular direction. She was just kind of—
 
Keeper:
It’s hard to tell.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
It looks like she was just kind of drunk out of her gourd and just hovering around— Like, how big is the bloodstains? Anything like that?
 
Keeper:
There’s a fair amount of blood, but not as much as you would expect from the way everyone’s described it.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
The way—she would’ve been, like, laying down on the ground. Is she, like—does it look like she started to run, like she was being chased and then she was attacked and thrown down on the ground? Or…?
 
Keeper:
Doesn’t seem to be. A lot of disturbing around where the body is, but it’s hard to tell whether that was—whether it was her being attacked or her just being moved afterwards or something, but you don’t see anything that really makes that clear.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
Was she up against the tree or by the tree?
 
Keeper:
By the tree.
 
Keeper:
As you’re, like, looking around at the tree and everywhere—
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
That’s why I climb so high!
 
Keeper:
—you can kind of see through, like, the lightly wooded fields. You can see the part of the dump at the distance from here. I mean, it’s not that far away. The other thing you can see: there’s also a farmhouse up the road a little bit.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Is it—what’s closer? The dump or the farmhouse?
 
Keeper:
The farmhouse is a little bit closer.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
Farmhouse!
 
Keeper:
And that’s on the main road.
 
Sam Spade:
I’m thirsty. Maybe they have some iced tea.
 
[Music: Ethereal piano arpeggios.]
 
[SFX: Birds twittering.]
 
Keeper:
Meanwhile, Father Grandfather has run off—
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
Father Grandfather!
 
Keeper:
—to the esteemed Hallicot abode which is—got a delightful white picket fence in front of it. It’s painted a tasteful yellow.
 
Father Grandfather:
Well, how lovely.
 
Keeper:
Yep. It is—
 
[Cast laughs.]
 
Keeper:
—truly a lovely home.
 
Father Grandfather:
I go up to the door. Knock knock! I say “knock knock.” I don’t actually knock. I go, “Knock knock!” [Laughs.] What’s wrong with me?
 
Keeper:
I don’t know.
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
You people need to stop me.
 
Keeper:
You talk to the door for awhile—
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
We’ve been trying!
 
Keeper:
—and then eventually, the door opens—
 
[SFX: Creaking door opens.]
 
[SFX: Radio playing softly in background: man’s voice.]
 
Keeper:
—and there’s a nice old woman. Maybe she’s, you know, in her late fifties, early sixties. She says:
 
Mrs. Hallicot:
What can I do for you, my son?
 
Father Grandfather:
Why, hello, wonderful woman. Have you seen Mr. Halibut? Harricot? Haliman? Heatinhand?
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Sixty-year-old man in my door. “What can I do for you, my son?”
 
Mrs. Hallicot:
Hallicot? Are you looking to speak to my son?
 
Father Grandfather:
Ah, yes. The officer, yes. You see, I’m helping investigate the evil that’s permeated this town and I was told that he has some answers for me.
 
Mrs. Hallicot:
And who are you, Sir?
 
Father Grandfather:
I am a humble Bible salesman. As you can see, I’m a good person. I sell the Word of the Lord, and right now, I’m investigating the evil the Lord wants me to stop.
 
Mrs. Hallicot:
I see, I see. Okay.
 
Father Grandfather:
So if you’d lead me to him, I will—I will have a friendly banter with him and we will get along just fine.
 
Keeper:
She seems a little confused at what you’re asking, but your Persuade’s, like, 99 percent.
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
Yeah.
 
Keeper:
Go ahead and roll that.
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
Jesus Christ.
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
Watch me get a hundred! 64?
 
Keeper:
Okay, so she is confused but you do sell Bibles, so obviously you can’t be up to no good. That’s—
 
Father Grandfather:
Oh, I’m a very good person.
 
Keeper:
Yeah.
 
Father Grandfather:
I’ve been doing this for sixty-two years.
 
Keeper:
Exactly. So as a Bible salesman who would never harm a woman or anything, she lets you in and this is—
 
Cyril Bridgewater [Out of Character]:
A Bible salesman with a black eye, I might add.
 
[Cast laughs.]
 
Father Grandfather:
You know, I’ve fallen on hard times.
 
Mrs. Hallicot:
Here, here. Come with me.
 
[SFX: Creaky door shuts.]
 
Mrs. Hallicot:
My son, he’s in his room.
 
Keeper:
And she—
 
Father Grandfather:
Ah, my son!
 
Keeper:
She leads you back to speak with Officer Hallicot. When she opens the door to the room, he’s sitting there on the bed. It’s a small, single bed. The room itself looks like something a high school kid would have. Like, you actually see, like, a high school football team pennant up on the wall—
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
How old is this person? Jesus!
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
He’s a cop, right?
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
Yeah, but he looks like—
 
Keeper:
He looks like he’s in early twenties.
 
Father Grandfather [to Mrs. Hallicot]:
Thank you for guiding me here. Now, let the men talk for a bit. This might get a bit serious. You know, we have to have a serious debate, so…
 
Mrs. Hallicot:
No problem, Sir. Would you like some tea?
 
Father Grandfather:
Oh, no, no. I’m fine. Tea doesn’t suit me. Thank you.
 
Mrs. Hallicot:
Coffee, perhaps?
 
Father Grandfather:
Oh, no. I’m good. No, I’m good. Thank you.
 
Mrs. Hallicot:
Okay.
 
Father Grandfather:
Thank you. Please leave us now.
 
Mrs. Hallicot:
If you or Edmund need anything, just call.
 
Father Grandfather:
Alright, my son. I lock the door.
 
[SFX: Door slams shut.]
 
Keeper:
Okay. So Edmund is looking up at you. And he says:
 
Edmund Hallicot:
Who are you?
 
Father Grandfather:
I am but a simple Bible salesman who the Lord has brought to you today to ask you a few questions. First, have you ever seen a Bible like this before? And I open it up and do my—whatever it is. I open it and I pull out a pipe bomb.
 
[SFX: Wacky banjo music.]
 
Edmund Hallicot:
No!
 
Father Grandfather:
See, this here thing is a tool from the Lord. It is an explosive device that will take out this entire building. Isn’t that crazy?
 
Keeper:
His eyes go wide.
 
Father Grandfather:
Now, I have some questions for you. Now, I advise you answer them or we’re both going to be meeting our Makers pretty soon! And I know which one of us is going to be let into Heaven!
 
Edmund Hallicot:
Okay, what do you want?
 
Father Grandfather:
What do you know about the case of the woman who’s torn up and got her organs missing and such? Preggers.
 
Edmund Hallicot:
Oh, God! I don’t know—
 
Father Grandfather:
This thing’s on a timer, so—
 
Edmund Hallicot:
Okay, okay!
 
Father Grandfather:
—I need to stop it at some point. I mean, I’m an old man. I don’t care about dying. I got nothing to lose. But you—man, you just started.
 
Edmund Hallicot:
They just called me out to go check up on her, find the old—or, find that lady. She was wandering the streets or something. I went out there. I barely saw her at first, lying on the side of the road, and I stopped. I went out, and she was just torn up and—[breaks off into an anguished sob.]
 
Father Grandfather:
Anything around that you saw that might help me, lead me on the right path? The righteous Lord saw fit to bring me here!
 
Edmund Hallicot:
She had, like, a burnt suitcase.
 
Father Grandfather:
Oh, man. There’s only, like, two-and-a-half minutes left on this timer so you’d better give me something. Something that makes me leave this room.


 

Edmund Hallicot:
She was covered in slime!
 
[SFX: Dramatic stinger.]
 
Edmund Hallicot:
It was disgusting!
 
Father Grandfather:
Slime! Where would you get covered in slime like that?
 
Edmund Hallicot:
Like a giant snail walked on her.
 
Father Grandfather:
A giant snail walked on her? Where would one get a giant snail in this day and age?
 
Edmund Hallicot:
I don’t know! Please don’t kill me!
 
Father Grandfather:
Oh, man. We’ve only got, like, two minutes left on this timer.
 
Edmund Hallicot:
Please don’t kill me!
 
Father Grandfather:
Alright, alright, alright. Calm down, Son. Calm down, Son. Calm down, Son. Calm down, Son. Now tell me something else because you’ve got, like, a minute-and-a-half left.
 
Edmund Hallicot:
I—cried like a baby!
 
Father Grandfather:
Alright, alright, alright.
 
Edmund Hallicot:
I cried like a baby!
 
Father Grandfather:
Alright, cry when you’re dead, Son. Give me something—
 
Edmund Hallicot:
God, forgive me! God, forgive me!
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
Alright, I need to a check to Persuade him to tell me something decent. Or, like, Psychology.
 
Keeper:
Okay.
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
I’m using reverse psychology. I don’t know anything.
 

Keeper:
Yeah, you can roll Psychology.  
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
Alright, my Psychology’s at 75.
 
[Dice roll.]
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
92. Nyah! I hate my fucking rolls. Shit! Cock ass.
 
Keeper:
So I mean, this kid’s a blubbering wreck. Basically he just, like—after muttering about how he was crying like a baby, he just begins, like:
 
Edmund Hallicot:
Glistening…slime-covered…disgusting…
 
Father Grandfather:
“Glistening. Slime-covered…”
 
Edmund Hallicot:
What happened?
 
Father Grandfather:
I don’t know, but there’s only sixty seconds left on this timer, so you’d better… Glistening, slime-covered… What does it all mean?
 
Edmund Hallicot:
I don’t know! Please don’t kill me. My mom’s in this house!
 
Father Grandfather:
Oh, your mom’s lived to a ripe, old age. She won’t mind. Death’s probably a good, sweet release for her at this point.
 
Edmund Hallicot:
Oh, God!
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Are we going to make him roll for Luck? That he stops the bomb?
 
Keeper:
He never lit it.
 
Father Grandfather:
I need to ask… Do you know anything else that might help? You saw the body opened. You saw a slime trail. She was glistening. Do you know—do you know where she was heading? Do you know what she was doing?
 
Edmund Hallicot:
I just—somebody saw her—they were driving down the road and then I got called out. Like, they just wanted me to check on her, bring her back to the station.
 
Father Grandfather:
And nobody told you anything?
 
Edmund Hallicot:
What? No, they just said some crazy lady was walking down the road. I went out to find her.
 
Father Grandfather:
Oh, well that’s annoying. Well, this bomb doesn’t really have a timer, so since you’re useless, I’m going to get out of here. Thank you and may the Lord provide!
 
Edmund Hallicot:
God!
 
Father Grandfather:
I bolt for it!
 
Edmund Hallicot:
Oh, God!
 
Father Grandfather:
I jump through the window.
 
[SFX: Glass window shatters.]
 
[SFX: Cow lowing. Sounds of a stampede.]
 
Keeper:
And then flee back to the house, I’m assuming?
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
No, I’m going to probably going to head to, like, the morgue.
 
Keeper:
Okay.
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
Oh, no!
 
Keeper:
So, meanwhile, in the morgue—
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
We’re going back to the morgue.
 
[SFX: Door shuts.]
 
Keeper:
—where you guys go in, there’s an attendant there who looks you over, says:
 
Attendant:
Is there anything I can do to help you two?
 
Cyril Bridgewater:
We’re here aiding the investigation, Detective Hardin’s investigation of the unfortunate murder last night.
 
Attendant:
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He said you guys would be coming by. Come with me. It’s pretty ugly, though.
 
Cyril Bridgewater:
As we’re walking, I was told that some of her vital organs may have been missing. Do you happen to know…?
 
Attendant:
Yeah. Yeah. Coroner says looks like her uterus and the majority of her lower digestive tract are all gone.
 
[SFX: Dramatic stinger.]
 
Cyril Bridgewater:
Alright.
 
Deloras Delaney:
Is that the extent of the damage? Or was there anything else outside of just that?
 
Attendant:
It’s not pretty. But basically, yeah. She’s—she’s cracked open pretty good.
 
Deloras Delaney:
Did you check underneath her nails for any kind of sign of struggle or…?
 
Attendant:
I was there with the coroner when he was taking his notes. He didn’t—he didn’t remark anything about it, but I mean, you’re certainly welcome to check.
 
Cyril Bridgewater:
Ms. Delaney, have you done this before?
 
Deloras Delaney:
I’ve read a lot about it. Detective novels.
 
Keeper:
So he takes you in—
 
Deloras Delaney:
I’m ahead of my time.
 
[SFX: Metal door creaks open.]
 
Keeper:
—unslabs the body and displays it out for you. Both of you guys, roll your Sanity.
 
[SFX: Dramatic stinger.]
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
I rolled a 97 out of 76.
 
Keeper:
It’s pretty nasty. D4 Sanity loss. So, here. You want to roll that, or you want me to?
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
You.
 
Keeper:
Okay, so you’re a little unnerved by—
 
Deloras Delaney:
I’ll throw up a little in my mouth.
 
Cyril Bridgewater [Out of Character]:
My Sanity’s 55 and I rolled a 99.
 
[Cast laughs.]
 
Keeper:
So that is a d4 for you as well. Of Sanity loss. And the both of you are pretty unnerved by this, but you guys were expecting it, so it’s not life-changingly shocking. But it’s gruesome. Her ribs are all cracked open. It almost looks like a bomb went off inside of her.
 
Cyril Bridgewater:
Like a Maine lobster torn right open!
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
I think you know one person who has a bomb…
 
[Cast laughs.]
 
Keeper:
There’s no signs of burning or anything like, so, you know, it’s not actually a bomb. You know, who knows?
 
Cyril Bridgewater:
Well, I think we’ve seen what we need to see here.
 
Deloras Delaney:
I’m going to check the coroner’s notes to see exactly what he wrote down for what was missing.
 
Keeper:
Roll your Library Use which I think you have at—
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
I have 100 percent.
 
Keeper:
Okay. So—
 
Cyril Bridgewater:
I shoot a glance to Ms. Delaney—
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
Do I even have to roll for 100 percent?
 
Cyril Bridgewater:
—and I excuse myself out into the hall.
 
Keeper:
Well, you look over the notes. Yeah, there don’t seem to be any signs of struggle: no bruises on the arms, no scars or anything like that. No signs of, you know, blood under the fingernails. Nothing like that.
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
But what about things that are missing? Like, specifically, what organs?
 
Keeper:
Oh. Yeah, basically she is missing her uterus, the majority of her small intestine, a chunk of her colon. Pieces of her stomach, but…
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
And the lacerations, would they appear to be of, like, an explosion? Like, as from internally extruded or was it more of, like, a ripped-open type of…?
 
Keeper:
The coroner’s—
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
How they have it stitched up is probably—
 
Keeper:
His notes indicate that she—it has the appearance of having been torn open like that. He is marking it off as a bear or possibly a wolf attack.
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
Validated!
 
Keeper:
That’s his current assumption.
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
It definitely does not look like a bear attack. Or, like, they would’ve eaten more of—
 
Keeper:
But outside of that—
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
Seen a lot of those?
 
Keeper:
—he is open to the possibility that it was done with some sort of serrated knife. He doesn’t see the signs of struggle on the body to really put his full faith behind it.
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
It’s too early in the timeline for toxicology.
 
Keeper:
But her ribs were broken and folded away so she was—it was bad.
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
Whoever did this had to have some kind of—
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
Surgical instrument or the mighty arms of a bear.
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
Sure want it to be a bear!
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
Well, in this country, you have the right to “bear” arms.
 
[Cast laughs.]  
 
Cyril Bridgewater [Out of Character]:
Zing!
 
Keeper:
So—
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
So—
 
Keeper:
—any further corpse-touching that you guys want to do?
 
[Cast laughs.]
 
Cyril Bridgewater [Out of Character]:
No, Sir!
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
Somebody say “corpse-touching?”
 
Deloras Delaney [Out of Character]:
Nope, I think we’re fully done here.
 
Keeper:
Okay.
 
Hank O’Brien Jr. [Out of Character]:
“Did somebody say ‘corpse…’”
 
Father Grandfather [Out of Character]:
Did somebody say “corpse-touching?”
 
Cyril Bridgewater:
It’s like something just exploded out of her. Just, like, bam!
 
Deloras Delaney:
I really—
 
Cyril Bridgewater:
I’m going to, while she ain’t looking, you know, take a pill out of my pocket and just, you know, chomp a bit off of it. Just a corner.
 
Keeper:
Okay. Okay. Well, you just take a corner, knowing your delicate physique and promptly find you’re feeling much better about this whole thing.
 
Cyril Bridgewater:
[Sighs contentedly.]


 

Keeper:
There’s much less sense of menace to the world.
 
Deloras Delaney:
But it still doesn’t make very much sense. I mean—
 
Cyril Bridgewater
You are a bold lady. I put my arm around her. No, seriously, though. I mean, I’ve never seen a dame swoop right in there, “Oh, dead body, let me read about it!” You’re something. You’re something, Kid!
 
Deloras Delaney:
I have to keep a moment of composure about myself or else I might lose my temper and you won’t like that. I keep adjusting my glasses. Like, you can hear it over the reading.
 
Cyril Bridgewater
She’s been adjusting her glasses like crazy. Begging your pardon, Ms. Derringer.
 
Deloras Delaney:
That’s not my name!
 
[Cast laughs.]
 
Sam Spade [Out of Character]:
That’s the name of a gun!
 
Deloras Delaney:
What is it now?
 
Cyril Bridgewater
I’m so sorry. I was thinking about a gun I might want to buy—
 
Deloras Delaney:
The alliteration?
 
Cyril Bridgewater
—because this town is going downhill. I am just—I am just sincerely out of sorts with everything that’s happened. Hopefully this other apartment’s going to—address is going to shed some light on everything.
 
Deloras Delaney:
Hopefully it’ll give us more information than this exploded corpse.
 
[Outro Music: Ominous ambient tones and whirring.]
 
Narrator:
If you’re eager for new episodes of The Call of Cthulhu Mystery Program, why wait by the radio when you can subscribe to receive the latest episodes on your favorite podcast player? What’s more, you can be a part of bringing this show to life by supporting us on Patreon. We’re listener-supported and your generous contributions directly fund the production of future series - sound design, score, actors - all made possible by fine folks like yourself. Some are even credited producers of the show.

At Patreon.com/ OmniverseMedia, you’ll find a wealth of Mystery Program bonus content including outtakes, uncut gaming sessions, expanded score, and Cthulhu Cthommentary -  an original podcast that dissects this show episode-by-episode.

Here’s a clip from "Divide and Conquer", where our creative team talks with Doug Banks, the performer who plays the lovable Hank Jr.

[SFX: Radio static]

Doug Banks - Actor:
When I was trying to come up with a character to play, I didn’t want to do the typical investigator, and I thought, “well… let me make a lovable dummy.” Like, if Clark Kent didn’t have any superpowers.

Colin Peterson - Sound Designer:
Yeah.

[Laughter]

Doug Banks:
‘Cause he’s so naive. He’s got that credit rating where, ya know- you like him! As soon as you talk to him, you’re like, “Oh! This poor kid. He doesn’t belong here.”

[Laughter]

Colin Peterson:
That makes total sense for Hank.

Doug Banks:
Yeah.

Colin Peterson:
That’s, like, exactly him.

[SFX: Radio static]
 
Narrator:
And don’t forget folks, if donating isn’t in the cards - there are other ways to doff your cap in our direction. You can rate and review our series on Apple Podcasts and Podchaser or share the show with your friends. Or heck, just come have a chat with us over on the Omniverse Discord. Learn how to join up over at Omniverse.Media/Discord
 
Tonight, for your listening pleasure, I’ve got something new from across the pond. This is a band out of Foggy Old London Town called Hamptons. And much to my surprise, they’re performing a unique spin on Southern blues music. This track is called “Riot Tonight” and it’s from their self-titled debut record. I’ll tell you this, folks: I don’t know much about Limey politics, but their bandleader plays a mean mouth organ.
 
[Hamptons: “Riot Tonight”]
 
Announcer:
Thanks for listening to The Call of Cthulhu Mystery Program!

Please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser and be sure to subscribe to our series via your favorite podcast player to get all the latest episodes.

Episode 3: “Divide and Conquer” was written and performed by Luke Stram, Cap Blackard, Doug Banks, Kay, Brandon Gerson, and Ruel Knudson - and is based on the Call of Cthulhu module “Behold the Mother” from Dead Reckonings, published by Chaosium Incorporated.

The series is edited and produced by Colin Peterson and Cap Blackard and the original score is composed and performed by Ryan McQuinn and Mike McQuinn of Neon Dolphin - home for all your custom music needs and more. Neondolphinmusic.com.

For full episode credits, transcripts, as well as character sheets and other supplemental material - visit CthulhuMystery.com.

This program is made possible by the support of listeners like YOU. Join us at Patreon.com/OmniverseMedia

All characters appearing are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

This series is recorded and produced in Central Florida and Nashville, Tennessee on lands ruthlessly taken from their indiginous people: the Timucua and Seminole, and Yuchi, Shawnee, and Cherokee - respectively. To learn more about the first nations of the land where you live visit: native-land.ca

This has been The Call of Cthulhu Mystery Program… Goodnight

[Music fades]

[Omniverse Audio Brand]


 

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